Positive Reinforcement

A couple of weeks ago, my grandchildren and I visited the Wildlife Zoo in Phoenix, Arizona.  We attended a sea lion show , but there was no performance. The sea lions were fairly new to the zoo and were still in training.  One of the zoo keepers explained the training process, while another demonstrated with a sea lion.  It was actually a lesson in positive reinforcement.  If the trainer wanted the sea lion to touch a pole, she would wait until it came close to the pole, then feed it a little fish.  Next time, the animal would get the fish as it reached up for the pole.  This would continue, with the pole being raised and the animal reaching higher until it learned to jump and touch the pole with its nose.  Interestingly, we saw another animal show in which a porcupine, a muskrat, and a parrot also learned to do tricks by repeating behaviors that brought them treats. 

Positive reinforcement is a method of teaching behaviors and skills by rewarding the student for closer and closer approximations to the desired goal.  It is standard practice in early childhood classrooms.  A reward is as simple as a smile, a hand on a shoulder, a hug, a few encouraging words, even saying the child's name in a delighted tone of voice.  So let's say we want a child to clean up his toys.  As he begins to pick up a toy, we immediately acknowledge his effort, "You're starting to clean up the blocks, good work!".  This simple praise generally serves to reinforce the behavior.  The child will continue the behavior and look forward to more praise.

To be most effective, positive reinforcement should be immediate. We must be watchful for any attempts made toward the target behavior, and immediately give feedback. The objective is to catch the child doing the right thing.  A common example in early childhood education is getting the children to settle down for circle time. All the teacher has to say is "I like the way Gabriel is sitting", and the other children will flock to sit nicely and hear their names too.  Amazingly, the effects of positive reinforcement are physically visible, not only in the behavior, but in the child's body language.  She appears to grow before our eyes, standng taller, filling up with a good sense of self.

 Positive reinforcement is used to praise effort.  It specifically addresses the approximation of a desired behavior.  This can be particularly helpful for children who are timid or find something distasteful.  Think of a picky eater.  If he takes a small bite of a new food we can say, "I know it's hard for you to taste new things, but you did it anyway.  I'm proud of you.".  Of course, this would be most powerful if he actually likes the new food, but again, we are praising the effort so that he will be more willing to try again next time.  Positive reinforcement is also important in teaching skills; "You're working hard to practice writing "S".  It's getting better and better."  In this last example, it might help to give a suggestion, such as "Try to reach the hat line next time." 

Positive reinforcement is a great motivator for older children and adults too  Everyone wants a pat on the back for the work that we do, but few of us actually get one.  Feeling noticed and appreciated keeps us motivated to stay the course and to work even harder. Positive feedback also clarifies expectations.  As an early childhood director, I looked for opportunities to compliment my staff, whether on a creative bulletin board, new lesson ideas, or the way they spoke with a student.  I understood that this type of feedback would reveal what I valued as quality work, and would motivate the teachers to keep it up.  (Truly, they made my job easy.  I worked with some amazing teachers.)   As an educator,  my greatest rewards were often the notes of thanks from parents.  These notes are treasured by teachers, who give so much of themselves to their students everyday, and are rarely recognized for their commitment.  An appreciated teacher is happier to do her job, and a happy teacher brings about optimal learning for her students. 

In my post "Hello Sunshine" I talked about the uplifting effects that positive people have on us.  In offering positive reinforcement, we can build on our children's strengths.  We can create a pleasant environment for work and play.  We can celebrate together all the little steps that lead to big learning and growth.

You Are What You Eat

Young children grow at a remarkably rapid pace. The foods they eat directly determine the quality of their mood, energy, growth, mental development and physical health. The right foods keep a child on the move, playing and learning, while simultaneously building healthy tissue, bone, muscle, etc. A well nourished child can think clearly, manage stress, and heal quickly.  The opposite is true of a child who eats too much junk.  She will be irritable and cranky and struggle to maintain focus and complete tasks.  She will be more prone to illness.  The quantity of food does not compensate for its quality.  A breakfast of sugar cereal, cookies and chocolate milk is almost as bad as no breakfast at all.  Without any real nutrients to feed her body, she will still be hungry.  We literally are what we eat.

Feeding our children is an act of love.  It is one of our primary responsibilities as parents.  Yet children vary in their appetites and tastes.  Some babies are "good eaters" and open wide for all types of food.  Others are picky and rarely seem hungry.  The former are a pleasure to feed.  My grandson Ephraim used to open his mouth wide, like a baby bird.  He'd finish a bowl of food, I'd give him more.  He'd finish that, I'd give him more.  When I thought he had eaten more than enough, I'd try to pull him out of the high chair.  Try.  He would hold on for dear life.  His mother had also been a good eater.  She once toddled up to the refrigerator, banged on it and said, "Mine!".

Other children can be very picky eaters, causing their parents anxiety.  We understand the importance of a healthy diet, but our child will tolerate only a limited number of foods.  We look for new ways to coax him to eat.  We pretend the spoon is an airplane:  "Here comes the plane, flying into the hangar"; or a train:  "chugga chugga choo choo" into the child's mouth.  I did all sorts of things to make healthy food more fun for my children.  The most memorable was adding whole carrots to their lunch boxes, carrots that still had the green leaves attached.  I thought they might pretend to be Bugs Bunny.  Instead, I think they may have been embarrassed.  They were the "only" children who didn't bring junk food to school.  Once, my son traded his sliced cucumbers for a fruit roll.  I was actually more concerned about the boy who gave up the fruit roll; what kind of diet did this poor boy have, where he preferred the cucumbers to candy?

Sometimes parents give children unhealthy food because it's simply easier.  It takes more time to prepare fresh food than to open a box or package of something ready-made.  Children love sweets (don't most of us?) and will whine and cry for it.  Treats are okay occasionally.  Part of the definition of a treat is that we get it once in a while; that it's outside of the norm. A steady diet of treats is a recipe for disaster.  The best approach is to simply not keep junk in the house, and to only allow it on special occasions.  Fresh fruit can be just as delicious.  I call it G-d's candy.  Some planning ahead can ensure that there are healthy options available when our children want snacks.  In addition to fruit, we can keep fresh veggies, sliced cheese, whole grain crackers and pretzels on hand.  

Regardless of our children's individual appetites or tastes, there are steps we can take to make sure that they are eating healthfully.  One suggestion is to limit the choices available at home.  In the early childhood programs where I worked, we offered milk or water to children at snack time.  Every year, parents would advise us that their children would not drink milk.  However, when the only choice was milk or water, the children inevitably began drinking milk. Stating that a child won't drink milk can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.  I was once in a classroom where the children were eating apples.  The teacher complained that they had been serving apples too often for snack.  One little girl was listening nearby as the teacher complained.  She put her apple down mid-bite and didn't finish it.  When my children were younger, I served salad at most meals.  Eventually, everyone learned to enjoy salad.

Parents' attitudes toward foods strongly impact a child's eating habits.  It's important to keep an open mind and to use neutral language.  For example, we can say that we don't care for a particular food, or it's not our taste.  We shouldn't label a food as "disgusting" or "yuck".  All food is a gift from G-d and children should learn to respect it.  Schools are not permitted to use food as punishment, and this should be true at home too.  Snacks and meals are necessities, not privileges.  Food should also not be the first thing we run to when we're hurt or sad.  We don't want our children to confuse their hunger for comfort with their hunger for food.  

Food is a basic necessity, one that we can't live without.  It is also one of life's pleasures.  Finding a healthy balance of nutritious eating will fulfill our responsibility of feeding our children, teach them self-care, and nourish their optimal development.